Transcript

[Scene: Temple's Fried Cockatrice. Get it? Temple's? Like Church's, except all pagan-y?]

Noble: Five hundred gold pieces for a piece of fried chicken? Is your very mind beflayed?

Register Guy: Not fried chicken, fried COCKATRICE. And it's five hundred gold per BITE.

Noble: Ludicrous!

Register Guy: Here, give it a try. First bite's free.

Noble: My gods! This is the finest food I have ever--

(turns to stone)

Ghhkkkrrkk...

[Register guy waves a wand at the petrified noble.]

SFX: Transmute

Register Guy: One gold for the cockatrice, four hundred ninety-nine cold for the "stone to flesh" spell.

Noble: Do you take artifacts?